2 years of Weight Loss and Goals Reached!

OK, so I was recently talking to people on face book and family and friends over weight loss. I told my mother in law the top weight I had reached. She didn't believe me. I was like well, I didn't take or wasn't in any pictures on purpose because of it. I was embarrassed for how big I had gotten. I wasn't even that big pregnant. So here I was looking at some old pictures and found some that can show the loss over time. Now did I post the picture I have of me at my biggest, NOPE!!! Even looking at it disgusts me. I will say this, I had depression due to no one believing me that I was sick and in pain, on tons of med's ( a gallon sized Ziploc bag full) everyday that come to find out later down the road was helping me gain weight and causing many other issues do to interacting with each other. Then at my biggest I finally couldn't take it anymore when I had to buy 20w sized jeans. I was the biggest I had ever been in my life. Talk about depressed along with severe body pain with no explanation and not being believed by anyone what I was going through was as bad as it really was to include Dr's. So along with having this horrible pain in my body, being in bed, being depressed and taking tons of meds and eating whenever I wanted and whatever I wanted I got FAT!

1. picture of Chris and I with Sami top row I was a size 18 there.(2008)
2. picture of Mom and Me I was a size 16 there (2008)
3. picture of Me with Sami I was a size 14(2009)
4. picture of Chris and I on the beach size 14(2009)
5. picture of Chris and I size 12(2009)
6.picture of Ethan and I size 10 (2010)
7. picture of Me size 8 (2010)
8. picture of Me size 7 end of year Dec 30th, (2010)

I want to gain at least 5 pounds. I will say that. I am now weighing in at 134. However, does that mean I don't have fat on me??? Heck NO! I have tons of skin and rolls from losing so much weight and tons of stretch marks, which is why I won't wear shirts without sleeve's and of course certain types of clothing because well, the fact is clothes help hide that!!! Let's be honest here. I just had a Dr. tell me when after talking to me and getting my medical back round done he had me put on a gown to have a physical and said" Oh, you looked skinner in your clothes!" Um, yeah that is called fat rolls you cant' get rid of without lipo! OK! Nothing like being told that, but I also just had to laugh because yeah well, I might have lost the weight, but I am far from having that perfect body! Thank goodness thou, My husband still loves me and so does my family and friends and to top it off I love myself for getting it done. So there is no big secert as to how I lost it. I did do no more than 1000 calories and slim fast when I started out. I even did the metabolism vitamins to try to speed up my metabolism but yeah it made my heart race and would keep me awake for days. Then we figured out I had RSD/CPRS and started getting new med's and procedures. Then in March of 2010 I still weighed 169 when I had my Spinal Cord Stimulator placed in me. By June I was down to 145! The SCS as my Dr. told me has been known to help patients lose weight because it regulated my blood flow and other things in my body and made me more active and hence weight starts coming off. Not that I would ever recommend going down this path by any means or wish this on my worst enemy it is what happened to me. No fancy diet plans! Because before the SCS I was still big! Even thou I was slowly losing weight, It was going TOOO SLOW!!!! and frustrating for me. Now I can't keep it on! Good and Bad at the same time. So to all those who can't believe I was ever as big as I have said and wearing a 20w at my biggest and tops at 3X believe it! It is so nice now to go and pick out cute clothes and not grandma clothes anymore for sure! Now to keep it off and to do my best to stay as active as my body allows. It lets me know when its done and I still have flares and spasms and seizure activity because the SCS did relieve my pain by 50%, which is a lot for someone who could hardly move without screaming out in pain. I do what I can do, and know my limits and set goals to reach. My goal this year is to get to a point where I can start to travel further distance's and to get my driving privileges back. I haven't been allowed to drive since March of 2010 because of the SCS spasms and seizure activity, but its my goal to reach those. One day at a time is our motto, because you never know how things will be tomorrow.