Click on the little speaker volume button in upper left hand corner to hear the song or click on the video and watch it. Its a great video and this is Sami's favorite female singer! This song fits my mood right now. Angry and pissed off and feeling the same about life and the world... You want a fight well now you got one because you ain't seen me crazy yet! Let me show you what little girl is made of, Gun Powder and Lead!
So ok, I know this is like airing your dirty laundry but really I am so frustrated and upset and looking for answers. Chris and I since moving to Texas have been threw the ringer and back finically. We really thought we were past the days were we had no money but we are not. We live about 25 minutes from base. We are on a wait list for base housing we have bills to pay and can barely do that. We have tried everything the law allows to solve our problems before resorting to filing bankruptcy. We have tried consumer debt counseling, talking with finical advisers and filed every last drop of paperwork we can, tried working with our creditors for help, even resorted to borrowing from family and robbing peter to pay Paul. So we started the paperwork to file for bankruptcy. With the new laws we had to buy a packet for $55 bucks and then go threw class's and take a test and file more paperwork with a debt counseling company and when they determine after reviewing our bills can decide weather or not we can hire a bankruptcy lawyer. They have to give a certificate that says "yes, The Pearson's followed all the steps and we deam it necessary for them to file bankruptcy and which chapter we can file under". Once we received this we can take that certificate to a lawyer which we did..... In order to hire a lawyer to file bankruptcy we have to now pay $2800! So in essence what this Say's is " You have to pay money to say you have no money!" Well if I had that type of money I really don't think I would be in this position in the first place??????? So as any American family who is struggling and follows all the right steps to correct their situation before going down this path which we have done still gets screwed over. They say there is always help out there you just have to go threw the channels to get there..... we have and we still can't get any help. We have been for the most part model citizen's, serve our country, pay our tax's, follow the law, church going, love our children and family, give you the shirt off our backs people. All American right????? We have it made right?????? So take a step forward... No, wait Pearson Family you don't count or qualify for anything, take a step back! After serving 16 years in the military working our ass's off this is what happens to us. To be honest, I feel cheated. I know that your not suppose to say these things. I know all the comments and things people can say to try to sooth you and try to help but what do you really do when there is no help? Were do you turn? Were is the safety net at? The hits just keep coming. Everyday I wake up and turn my ringer off so I don't have to listen to it ring off the hook from creditors, everyday we wait for another kick in the self esteem area. Everyday, I cry and pray. Everyday I look at my kids and say I'm sorry. Everyday I look at my husband who as the provider for our family and is under so much stress and worry if he is going to have a heart attack on me. Everyday we worry about putting food on the table and gas in the tank and keeping our electric, water, necessities for living paid so we don't get them turned off on us. As a christian I know we are suppose to walk a harder path in life, I know that things are put in front of us to test our faith. Everyday I ask God to send me a sign for answers to how to make things better for my family. We are struggling with all that and more. So now that as I vent and write this, it could be our last post for awhile. We might not have Internet access for awhile. In these situations you have to find what is most important to have and what is not. What cuts you have to make to make sure your kids are fed. You have to go back to basics. Back to a life that you no longer want for yourself or thought you would have to go back to. Back to the beginning and try as hard as it may be to start all over again. I have never been so poor in my life. I don't know how the poor do it. No wonder so many are on the streets and mentally break down. I will never ever in my life ever say again about a poor person living on streets or barely hanging on by a thread "Hey, go get a job!" "There is no reason for them to be struggling, I don't understand it?" Where is the money going that you do make?" Because there is never enough once you go down this path. There is never enough help out there. You lose your pride, you lose who you were, you lose your self respect.You lose everything you worked so hard for, but in the end I can still say, I have God and my husband and my kids. Who could ask for more? Right???
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